The Perfection of Patience - Kassapamandiya Jataka II

If we want to realize the arising and falling away of nama and rupa, if we want to eradicate defilements and penetrate the four noble Truths, we should carefully consider the Dhamma contained in these stanzas. They deal with the eradication of defilements and exhort to forbearing patience.
We read:

“Even wise men may quarrel,

but quickly they can become closely united again.”
Even wise people may be moody and angry, but they can amend for this quickly and become closely united again. This is because of their wisdom.
When we have passed away, all the events of this life are gone, but so long as we are still alive we remember what happened in our life. We may remember the wrong someone else did, but if we are wise we can forgive him. Even though wise people may quarrel, they can forgive one another. They can become close friends with each other again and they can give support to each other from then on. This is because of their understanding of the Dhamma. With regard to foolish people, they break apart like earthen vessels which are untempered. They are unable to calm down their hatred.
We read that the Bodhisatta said:

“If someone knows the wrong by which he offended someone else,

and he expresses in words that he was wrong,

both people can live in greater harmony,

their friendship cannot be destroyed.”

We should not only know the wrong by which we offended someone else but we should also say so. If we do not give expression to our regret, we are still brooding about what happened and may be irritated. If a person who offended someone else expresses in words that he was wrong, both people can live in greater harmony; they will understand each other more clearly and their close friendship cannot be destroyed.
We read:

“If someone, when another person offends him,

can cause both to be united in harmony,

he is considered a person who takes upon himself a weighty and worthy task.”

  This means that if a person has forgiven someone else and the other person, in- spite of this, still offends him, he can cause both himself and the other person to be reconciled and live in harmony. Therefore, he is someone who is superior, who fulfils a weighty task. A wise person knows how to behave in a way that is to the benefit of others. If he lacks panna he will not follow the Buddha’s advice about beneficial conduct.

Topic 282